Heart of Glass?
I forgot to put antiperspirant on today. Fuck I hate it when I do that. I have an emergency stick (normally I use the clear gel kind ~ not that you care) in my desk but when I opened it, it crumbled ~ all over my black pants. How cool am I today with white deodorant marks on my PANTS!? (Have I ever mentioned that I hate the word 'slacks'?)
Ah well. I guess if that’s the worst thing that happens today, it’ll be a good day.
Yesterday afternoon when I got home, there was a little potted plant sitting on my porch with a “just because” homemade card. It was from my neighbours that also deal with infertility (male factor, though). I cannot tell you how touched I was. I started to cry before I could even get into my house. Yesterday was not the greatest of days. While I’m still not experiencing a great sense of grief, an overwhelming sense of panic has started to set in.
I wrote a huge post yesterday about the above mentioned panic but when I read it over I found that it had a really angry tone to it and posting it would be silly and pointless.
The good news is that yesterday was Frenchie’s birthday. This makes him 32, which makes me happy because then it seems like I am only a little older than he is at 33. When he got to say he was 31 to my 33, it pissed me off. (Yes, I am a nuts like that.)
Poor guy couldn’t even get lucky because he has a “test” scheduled for tomorrow and to put it plainly he cannot come for 2 to 3 days beforehand. But what the hell, I bought him a beautiful 18V drill for his birthday and it sure seemed like that made up for the lack of birthday sex.
I guess it says something about us when a drill makes up for the lack of sex. Ha!
The other good news is that I’m outta here at 230pm today. I love early days.
I am listening to Blondie’s Heart of Glass right now. As I’ve never really listened to the lyrics, I find myself wondering if a heart of glass implies that the heart is easily broken or that it’s cold and hard. I must check the lyrics and see what they say.... BRB…… okay…. well the lyrics are a little silly actually. Seems that the ‘love that was a gas now has a heart of glass’.
Whatever.
But I still love the title. There are many many days that I feel like I have a heart of glass. Easily broken or cold and hard?
You decide.
Ah well. I guess if that’s the worst thing that happens today, it’ll be a good day.
Yesterday afternoon when I got home, there was a little potted plant sitting on my porch with a “just because” homemade card. It was from my neighbours that also deal with infertility (male factor, though). I cannot tell you how touched I was. I started to cry before I could even get into my house. Yesterday was not the greatest of days. While I’m still not experiencing a great sense of grief, an overwhelming sense of panic has started to set in.
I wrote a huge post yesterday about the above mentioned panic but when I read it over I found that it had a really angry tone to it and posting it would be silly and pointless.
The good news is that yesterday was Frenchie’s birthday. This makes him 32, which makes me happy because then it seems like I am only a little older than he is at 33. When he got to say he was 31 to my 33, it pissed me off. (Yes, I am a nuts like that.)
Poor guy couldn’t even get lucky because he has a “test” scheduled for tomorrow and to put it plainly he cannot come for 2 to 3 days beforehand. But what the hell, I bought him a beautiful 18V drill for his birthday and it sure seemed like that made up for the lack of birthday sex.
I guess it says something about us when a drill makes up for the lack of sex. Ha!
The other good news is that I’m outta here at 230pm today. I love early days.
I am listening to Blondie’s Heart of Glass right now. As I’ve never really listened to the lyrics, I find myself wondering if a heart of glass implies that the heart is easily broken or that it’s cold and hard. I must check the lyrics and see what they say.... BRB…… okay…. well the lyrics are a little silly actually. Seems that the ‘love that was a gas now has a heart of glass’.
Whatever.
But I still love the title. There are many many days that I feel like I have a heart of glass. Easily broken or cold and hard?
You decide.
sky girl rambled @ 6/07/2006
19 Comments:
a bit fragile at times perhaps, but definately NOT easily broken, and definately NOT cold & hard.
warm & hard is way better.
I always though it was beacuse you could fill it easily, or leave it empty, your choice.
J.
and its a heart of glass because we can all see the love, pain, joy you have in it?
Ooooooh Jas! I love that take on it! Much better than my own interpretation.
Im having such a hard time replying to this post. All I keep thinking is that your heart of neither easily broken or cold and hard, but warm and full of love.
Yeah, I'd go with warm and hard..... heh heh heh... which is a good thing....
;-)
Your day started off like most of mine do. I'm the most ungraceful person I know, and now you're stealing pages from MY book! lol ;)
I HATE forgetting the antiperspirant.
I haven't listened to "Heart of Glass" in a long time. I may have to fire it up to see what kind of interpretation I can make of it.
I wsa wondering what that smell was ;0) Better a heart of glass than a heart of stone sweetie, even if the lyrics don't really make sense. Loving you.
TG
I hate deodorant stains. Especially from the clear stuff. It all stains, there is no way around it.
Blondie is such fun...
I had the same age thing too and those few months of only 1 year apart made me happier lol.
That post you wrote yesterday? I doubt it would have been pointless or silly but I hope writing about it helped.
I would say you are a warm-hearted person, not easily broken, but dealing with infertility does leave your heart broken, but not because of weakness, because it is damn hard. You are not cold hearted by any means. I hope Frenchie does ok with his test today, my husband has gotten really familiar with plastic cups. "Inspirational" material is a big help!!!!
i really like clare's take on your heart. it fits you darlin'
happy b-day frenchman! 18V!
I think both can help us grow.
...not hard & cold for sure!!!
Happy Birthday Frenchie! (I seriously doubt that drill = drill - LOL)
Penblwydd Hapus, Frenchie.
Or Joyeux Anniversaire!
I suppose if the drill had the right attachment it could be a surrogate. :)
I was thinking along the same lines as Clare - with your words you're so good at giving us a window into your heart.
Oh man! I hate the word slacks. My kids tease me about it all the time. That and the word moist. It's bad in both official languages!
Take care.
I like Clare's take on it as well.
Hope your feelings of panic subside and you find comfort from whatever source you can...
Love you honey. I'm with clare on this one. A heart of glass is see through and we can see all of your love and warmth in your's. Love you honey. (((you)))
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